THE SHADOW MAN - PART ONE|
PREFACE: This article was written while I was involved in the new age and under the influence of the demonic. The article is factual. It is when I begin to theorise that the problems begin. For those Christians who are able to discern, there is a definite Satanic agenda in regards to the contents of this article. Like many other unsaved writers and artists working in this field, I was being deceived and utilised by the adversary in order to promote a Luciferian agenda. In my case it was the fusion or the 'coming together' of the darkness and the light. The demons that I was involved with promoted yin and yang symbolism and the 'perfect balance' of the darkness and the light within as ... 'The Divine Reunion' in an impersonal self created and self evolving universe without God. I had no idea that I would one day look back on this article in horror with both eyes wide open. I thank God Almighty for waking me out of the beautiful seduction and ever deepening darkness of Satan's false new age.
Who Is The Hat Man and What Does He Want?
Rose Street, Liverpool - This is the 3 bedroom brick house in Sydney's outer western suburbs where I grew up in the late 60s and 70s. From the outside it looked just like another ordinary Neta display home. But once inside, one could sense this 'dark' all pervading atmosphere of dread that seemed to permeate the rooms as presence. It was only after I called my first writing Fear of the Home and when I read a book by William Hope Hodgison that gave a graphic description of a 'terrible house of silence' that I realised how afraid of this place both I (and my younger brothers) had been.
The Dark Man, The Shadow Man or The Hat Man has been part of my mother's and my lives for as far back as I can remember. I first sensed him in my mother's bedroom [left side of the house above] when I was a child. Here I describe the various appearances of 'The Shadow Man' over a number of years and I will attempt to describe his characteristics and behaviours.|
While I deeply loved my childhood house, there was this tangible heavy psychic atmosphere that was felt by visitors. Firstly, the house was built directly over the main underground sewerage pipe for the area that cut straight through the centre of the loungeroom. My parents received a discount on the land as a result. In addition this the domestic violence that occurred created an interactive web of negative emotions, fear, powerlessness and despair. All family members suffered from vivid reoccurring nightmares yelling out from their sleep, often with bedclothes found strewn around the room. My nightmares ceased 25 years after leaving the house.
When 'The Shadow Man' first manifested, it was primarily around my mother. My two younger brother's sensed it, but it was only my mother and I who ever experienced him physically. My mother is prone to hynogogic episodes. Some of them had involved a dark creepy male presence who visited her in her bedroom. This occurred after she had switched off the light and often while she was still awake. She would feel 'him' pressing down on the end of her bed as if the mattress was being pushed down by an invisible force, or him pressing on her legs through the bedclothes.
Reilly Street, Liverpool: When I was 18 years old I was staying at my mother's townhouse. I was lying on my back trying to get to sleep, but I couldn't because I always felt unsafe. So feeling restless I had turned over onto my stomach and lay awake. Then I felt something tugging at the bedclothes while slowly working its way up my back and around to the back of my shoulders. I froze, terrified and hardly believing what was happening. While time seemed to stand still along with my breathing, the experience may have only been 10 seconds in duration. The minute it stopped I sat up and I seemed to hear a shriek disappear into a space in the centre of the room. I jumped up and ran from the room. It had felt like something was 'tucking me into bed'. This single event changed the way I thought about ghosts forever. I was fully awake. The tugging of the clothes was physical. It was not a hypnogogic experience or a hallucination. I slept in my mother's room for 2 weeks.
Several years later I was questioning my mother on the creepy presence that she had felt at Rose Street. I also talked about the experience of being tucked in. I said, "Do you remember the time that something tried to tuck me into bed at the townhouse?" She said, "Oh yeah, the thing that pulls the sheets up around your neck." I said, "What do you mean? Did it happen to you?" She said, "Yeah, several times." She had not told me this before. I said, "Like what did it do?" She said, "Oh nothing much. It just tugs the bedclothes up around your neck." I said, ".. Thanks for telling me!" It only happened to me the once. Apparently it had happened to her a number of times.
The odd thing about The Shadow Man, was that often when I felt him around, other people would suddenly get spooked, even if I hadn't said anything. When I was eighteen years of age one of my old school friends Diane, had suddenly refused to go up the stairs at the townhouse in Reilly Street, Liverpool. She had baulked at the bottom step like a horse at a ditch. Not letting on about this presence, I said to her "What's up?" She replied quickly, "I'm not going up there! Something is up there!"
It was like the words were in another tongue or being spoken backwards. It felt like the voice was attempting to convince me that 'he' was my boyfriend, when I knew that 'he' wasn't. It didn't feel right. I struggled out of the dreamstate in order to be fully conscious. As I opened by eyes, I saw the shadowy shape that I thought was that of a man pass over the top of my body. It was darker than the darkness of the room. My dog Toby had barked once. The room felt weird as if my dreaming state had been carried into my waking state. I knew The Shadow Man had the intention to rape.
Hillcrest Street, Wollongong: I seemed to feel the presence of The Shadow Man after some kind of psychological or emotional vacume was created. When a boyfriend whom I had been with for a few days went home, then it was as if The Shadow Man would come in to take his place. One of these incidents occurred in the house in Hillcrest Street. My boyfriend had been staying with me for a few days. After he had gone home, I was asleep on a mattress on the floor in my room. In my dreams I heard an older male talking to me in a soft voice that was barely audible.|
Sometimes the houses that I moved into began to 'turn weird' after a time. I didn't know why this was, but I had always chosen to move on. At this place which was a student share house, one of the students in the room opposite to mine had started sleep walking at night and turning the gas on in the kitchen plus all the lights. On another night a huge huntsman was found on a ceiling of one of the student's bedrooms. This spider was abnormally big, not like a normal huntsman at all. It was so big that when we lifted up a plastic bucket in order to put it outside, its legs were still visible. The spider 'with leg span' was wider than the rim of the bucket! I left soon after that. Once I moved out the next student to move into my room had committed suicide, by hanging himself in the doorway of the bedroom. Incidentally, around a decade later, I had moved out of my mother's granny flat where I been staying, and the person who moved in after me hung himself inside my wardrobe.
The Shadow Man had never preoccupied either my mother or myself. We just refered to him as 'remember the thing in your room at Rose Street.' My mother prefered to forget about all the times he had visited her at night and I only thought about it when I sensed the same presence on and off, or when I remembered being tucked in.
Gold Street, Collingwood: After dark something (some energy) used to move up the side this duplex house and then manifest in the backyard. Several people who were either visiting or living in the house felt this aside from myself. While living at Gold Street my partner at the time had suddenly told me to close the back door one night, because he didn't like the feeling in the courtyard. He wasn't partial to this type of thing and we rarely if ever talked about things of a spiritual nature. However on this occasion we both sensed this tangible creepiness all up the side of the house and out in the courtyard. I felt physically afraid as I went to shut the backdoor. I really had to keep the fear and dread that I felt under control, as I walked towards the back door and felt this presence outside. One night my partner said, "that backyard gives me the creeps. Would you shut the fucking door." I sensed it was this same presence.
Urunga Street, Wollongong: In my early twenties I had began to get more vivid 'impressions' of The Shadow Man in my mind. He appeared to be a tall two dimensional shadow man who wore a hat. I did the rough drawing of the figure to the left, in order to show my counsellor at the time.|
While living at Urunga Street, I had a vision while fully awake. I saw what I thought to be a dark shadowy man crossing the street. He was heading towards the driveway of the house. I rang my counsellor at the time on the verge of panic and he told me to light a candle and to focus on it.
I was used to the other things occuring. On a couple of occasions paintings were all tipped up the wrong way (lopsided) in the morning. I was urged to leave the house. Within a short time the entire ceiling of the main living area completely collapsed, covering the whole place with plaster and a fine coating of dust. It also crushed my computer chair (where I would have been sitting) into the floor. A flatmate (Rob) who was living there was not harmed. When I went back to pick up my stuff I felt fearful. I could feel the thing coming up the side of the house. I did not want to be there. A girlfriend Emma said that she didn't believe in any of that kind of stuff. Around a week later her entire ceiling had collapsed in Richmond. We could say that it was as a result of the rainy weather in Melbourne, but it always rained there.
Bingara Road, Macquarie Fields: During late 2004 my mother who had scoffed at my reports to her about the thing that comes up the stairs at my new place at Ridgehaven Circuit, Leanyer, later had experienced exactly the same phenomena herself at Bingara Road in Macquarie Fields, where she had heard a series of loud stomps up her own front stairs. She said it happened several times and that it sounded exactly like someone coming to the door. She noted that the sensor lights on the verandah did not turn on and when she investigated, there was no one there.
I never knew who or what this creepy presence was, only that over the years he had somehow remained connected to my mother and myself. In my book Walking With The Angels: The RSPK Journals I mention that I actually saw 'The Shadow Man' at Malak Crescent in Malak in 2005. At the time there had been other phenomenon occurring and I was in a state of emotional shock over the death of my dog Binda. I also saw 'The Shadow Man' move across the loungeroom of this residence. These two 'appearances' had coincided with other poltergiest-like phenomenon at the time.
In 2008 I had a dream where I was approached my two psychic entities in my mind. One was 'The Howler' coming towards me down the hallway of a church whose pulpit seemed to stretch into an eternity. I fled the church stairs after hearing her terrible inhuman screams from behind the door as she made her way towards me. Then I was driving along a reflective rainy night time street and there amongst the shadows was the man in the hat.|
This appearance in my dream had coincided with a long period of intensive learning with my spirit guides, involving the awareness of the light and dark aspects of my own consciousness without fear, trepidation or judgement and the harnessing and utilising of that energy for for purposes of self actualisation. It was about holding it all in balance.
1. My child consciousness manifesting a ghostly presence as a thoughtform. I was afraid of my father harming my mother in her bedroom so I may have created what I feared the most. My father wore a hat. I had been afraid of aliens in hats on a silent planet in a TV series called Lost in Space. The question is did my mind use these images to create a thoughtform or had these images simply reminded me of what already existed?
2. The presence of a foriegn non-local consciousness who interacted with my mother and myself under these conditions.
4. A series of different and varying phenomenon that my mother and I then personified and attributed to a being that I refered to as The Dark Man.
3. None of the above. Rather something intangible that defies all explaination.
The Shadow Man would always approach from the edges of awareness which seemed to be reflected in where I felt him in the physical environment. If I was inside, he would be outside moving up the stairs or along the side of the house. If I was upstairs, he would be downstairs so that I had to walk a frightened girlfriend to her car. If I was standing on a verandah, he would be approaching from across the road.
If I left a place and had to go back in for something that I had forgotten, there would be this very scary presence right there behind me, so that I became afraid of going back for anything on my own, once I had left the house. Also, if I stayed in a house it was like something would occupy the spare bedroom, or the room that I used the least. People had sensed this presence at different locations over a period of years.
I am a multiple and a channeler. In 2004 when I first drew a map charting the system of selves that were operating within me and around me, The Shadow Man was included on that list. While he manifested through visions and dreams, I have never become co-conscious with him. I do not know what it is like to be The Shadow Man.
What I do believe is that: 1. We are each consciously aware of the other, 2. We each have our own ways of manifesting, and 3. We are all involved in an ongoing process of interaction, where the reality in which my mother and I are currently manifested, may not be the centre of the universe, but instead just another manifestation or creation of it's consciousness. And furthermore, that these realities will overlap given the right states of consciousness, vast realities of interaction that we travel upon, together and apart and where realities collide during periods of entanglement.
Our consciousnesses, sentient and striving, may be the points of light, that connect the thoughts of a growing cosmic cosciousness that self evolves through the ongoing development of vast networks of transportation, where haunted trains of self awarenes, thunder across the eons, and where each coincidence, meeting and crossover, flash brightly for a moment, like signal boxes at intersections and each of us, lit stations along this route who manifest, in temporary mirages of connection.
Or we may be worked into shape by the hand of a greater evolving intelligence, as yet undefined, boundaryless and in search of its purpose, as our form is repeated endlessly, now birthing from within us, as we meet the creatures of our psyches, we become a line of frail paper cutouts collapsing into each others enfolded awareness.
Whichever way you look at it, we are all in this together, Hatman and Human, by the very fact that we exist. I see this as a good enough reason to say we are members of the one developing universe, and that the universe we support with our thinking creative dreamimg, then supports many others both within and beyond its knowing.
So picture yourself waking and sleeping, dreaming and daydreaming, and in these realities exist a plethora of interactive consciousnesses. In fact, there is a vast ecosystem of consciousness of which you are a part, both created and creator. Well, just like you, The Shadow Man is obviously part of that same psychic landscape, and no matter how creepy we may find him or other beings like him, it is really up to each of us, as to how we resolve our own fears, in regards to these mysterious fleeting interactions. How we react and the relationships we conduct, will determine how we are all to continue to share these vast cosmic landscapes of consciousness.