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I didn't mind it, but I wasn't too happy about him having a big cock, 'cause it made me weary for the job. I ended up shutting my mouth and making my gaze all sweet for him again. I hated to admit this, but it was because I was a bit sweet on him. Also I wasn't saying anything that might upset him. I didn't want to be hurt. He'd break and then he could turn around and break me. My small frame could be so easily crushed, my breath dying out. He was big and shit. I said to Sharlena, 'What I am dealing with here is a slut. I'm just a sex worker.' She said, 'I knew you'd be keen on him, Nikita, 'cause you were trying to turn yourself off him. It was plain as day for all to see.' I said, 'I didn't mean to like him like I do. I enjoyed my last three jobs 'cause I kept imagining it was him. Is that wrong? If only he knew that it was only a job and he…' 'Never reveal it,' said Sharlena, 'men are men and don't know jack shit from a bar of soap. You gonna give your work up for this? How much do you value this life?' He hauled all his own baggage around like a failed marriage. He screwed up by describing his ex-partner to his one-night stands. Then there were the years of deceit and now the divorce and there were kids involved. Whereas I was just doing my job when he came along. So who was morally correct? Do we have to reveal everything? What I was actually dealing with was a local slut from way back. My job was run like a private clinic, whereas he was serving himself. At least I was serving the wider community.
'I'm worried about you, love,' said Sharlena, 'I have a feeling that it's going to be a fatal attraction for him. He's besotted. He'll have his spies out. This is a small town and you're going to be socialising. Of course when you're out with him, your clients won't say anything. But one day you're not going to be with him, and one of them might happen to sidle up to him and say, 'What are you going out with her for? She's a hooker!' Imagine the humiliation for him. And I don't mean the fact that I got paid to fuck and he didn't. I mean the fact of my power and his insecurities. I'm fine with my work. But in his eyes I'm this gorgeous woman who turns out to be the town bike, 'cause really I'd have all those men he's so jealous of for an hour each. 'For one hundred and fifty dollars an hour,' said Sharlena, 'you're anybody's.' Well, not exactly. There's no kissing and anal sex. But in a way, I guess you could say that. Yes.
Roxanne speaks: Nikita was still basically shy when it came to a date. She didn't even look at his whole body from head to toe. Since she was engaged with him on an emotional level, it was all different. She thought, at least I'm a bit more experienced with men after doing this job. What does it matter if you've had five hundred men? It matters because he'll be competing with every one of them. He's competing on a sexual as well as an emotional level. You want to live a double life and here's your chance to practise it, although it could get risky. The hour job is worth your risk, but this average guy certainly isn't. Nikita thought of her frail arms wrapped around him the next morning and of her empty wallet. She had to stop herself from objectifying his body and adding up the hours. Sharlena reminded her, 'Remember that dating is a very expensive business for us, honey. And that you don't work because of him. He might have spent a hundred dollars on you both, but you lost four hundred dollars of potential bookings, and now you're in debt and how you gonna do your grocery shopping this week?' But Sharlena saw the look on Nikita's face and knew that she was hooked! 'Let her run off like a stray on heat if she has to let off steam,' said Jackie. 'The job is such a control trip. She needs to let her hair down once in a while.' 'As long as she's not hanging around the other hookers when she goes out,' Sharlena said, 'otherwise all our covers are going to be blown. Also I have a little worry inside me that it's going to be a fatal attraction for him if it gets too serious. He mightn't be able to let her go. Why? Because he's always saying how easily he lets everything go. He's even mentioned stalking. Apparently he thinks that Nikita might stalk him. What a joke! The guy has more problems than I can throw sticks at. He seems nice enough but he's a big solid build. He's done boxing and owns guns.' Jackie said, 'She needs too much attention and now she's out shagging for a taste of it. Maybe she's not cut out for the job. At least when he's out screwing around with other women, she'll be doing the same but getting paid for it.' Both women laugh. They'd been through it all before. Their anger, hurt and sadness had been and gone years before this conversation. Where would Nikita be without her little dramas and emotional intrigues? 'You're hopeless,' said Sharlena, 'the guy was a dud, a local loser.' 'He hurt me!' 'Oh, come on, Nikita! I don't want to hear that again. Your mother has a lot to fucken answer for. I blame her for this. The guy is a pebble on a beach. You're beautiful. Look, you've fucked five men in the time that you've known him and two others are in love with you!' |
