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You're lonely and I haven't got the answer. But I think you would frighten him off if you suddenly called him up. He's been alone a long time and he's told you that he likes living alone. It's not as if he wants a girlfriend, is it? 'I don't know,' said Nikita. As soon as you desire anything or anyone, you put yourself in a vulnerable position. Why not let him sit on it? He rings every three weeks or so, doesn't he? He's got your mobile number and while nothing's certain, he'll probably call again. Look at you, you're gorgeous. He's obviously besotted. You need the money. He needs the loving. Just sit on it awhile. He's a regular, that's all. 'But I need the lovin' too.' 'Well, that's tough,' said Jackie, ''cause in this world you ain't gonna be gettin' jack shit without paying for it, and that price is too high to pay. You only got one heart, girl, and you gotta look after it. They're all mind-fuckers and the cost is high at any price.' 'You're right,' said Nikita, 'I've got to take my power back. It's just a complex situation, like we go to his bank and withdraw two thousand dollars from his account, then put it into my account. Weird, huh? At least we bank with the same bank!' 'So it's weird, is it?' said Jackie. 'What's weird about it exactly? Is it 'cause you've never been treated that well by a man before? Well, honey, you can get used to it. And the sooner the better.' Well, it's the exchange of power, isn't it? It's the way we work the sex, just like they always have. 'Right,' Jackie said, 'the question is, are you ready to keep working the sex or not? Are you strong enough? Are you broke enough? You can always go back to being a little mind-fucked slut down at the local pub with all your so-called 'dates.' 'Remember, Nikita,' I said, 'It's in situations like this that we become really courageous. Odds are it wouldn't work out with him anyway. As you've been told, it's a workplace and not a dating agency. Sit on it for a while, sweetheart. Feel the desire and take it nowhere in a hurry. There'll be someone to love you one day.' But of this, none of us were really certain.
It's an interesting job at the best of times. I turned to my second client for the night. I said, 'You know, elsewhere we'd both be criminals. If we were doing this in the United States of America, I'd be thrown straight into jail or deported from the country with the letters KP 'known prostitute' stamped onto my passport. I'm proud of what I do, but I certainly don't want it placed in that context. Besides, my job shouldn't be against the law and it's none of anyone's business.' 'Yeah, well, from my side of the city, it's hard to get my head around,' he murmured, now fully massaged. I had seen him standing at the pretend bar. None of the other women had approached him. He was short and stumpy, with red hair shaved into astro-turf, most likely to conceal his thinning hairline. I was feeling a little bit aloof, but acknowledged him with a smile. He was over to me in a flash. Once inside the room, I saw his magnificent body and discovered that he was a triathelete. He was also a fantastic lover, very sensual and affectionate, which suited me. There seemed no threat, but I remained alert nevertheless. He massaged every part of me; my toes, behind my knees, my ears, and then I returned the favour. You might think that this touch was all building up to sex (in other words, penetration), but it continued long after the brief sex and ejaculation. 'This is all sex,' he said, 'so what are they going to arrest us for?'
'They'd arrest me for being paid,' I replied, 'we could fuck all night without you paying and that would be fine. Fucking's not the issue'. 'Suits me,' he grinned. I added, 'They'd arrest us for what they're most threatened by.' We agreed that it would be penetration. I was stroking his tiny spent penis. It was the penis of a forty-five year old man, a little like a twig. 'Your cute little dick and my adorable pussy are very threatening, almost deadly, in fact. It's hard to believe.' I laughed suddenly pressing down onto his chest. It was all intimacy and affection. 'Yet,' he said, 'this is all sex.' 'Yeah, I agree. My question is, what have we been doing for the past hour? Is it sexuality or sensuality? 'It's everything,' he said, completely satisfied. That was precisely the point. Some people would prefer to hunger after something and receive nothing or very little, rather than everything. |
