98. this is a heavy cloud over my thoughts, one day it will lift
ou know in all the times i worried about going there, i could have just gone there, it takes just as much energy to not go there, as to go there, my shrink told me that it was chemical, that i would gradually deteriorate inside, like vegetable matter, now i am not adopting this mindset to fulfil some naive medical prophecy, but i just worry sometimes, i have these feelings of a massive death that overwhelm me, every three days almost, i am slowing down, & feel moronic a lot of the time, like an imbecile, i can only think & do the most basic things, & even then only slowly, when a step-by-step challenge comes, i read it a line at a time, but i can't even absorb a single step, by the time i am onto step two, step one has been forgotten, it's as though i quietly fall down, in-between the blank spaces, with this dense white haze settled in my mind, this is a heavy cloud over my thoughts, one day it will lift |
