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BRINGING HOME THE STRAYS
10. The Facial Treatment
i'm patting my dog with one hand & him with the other, both are receiving pleasure, are in competition with one another, with me stuck inbetween two buildings, holding them up, know that i have been programmed for nurturing, with my own needs switched off, i have found & adopted children, as we all must be mothers to something, i open up his forehead with my fingers, i hoped that the pain from inside might just float away, but he is clinging to it like a baby to a breast, he feeds on what he knows, soon his eyes are screwing up, to hold the pain in, as soon as my hands are taken away, his face goes back to its familiar position, too heal him i would have to go on healing, i would have to keep my hands there permanently, i haven't got the energy, to hold his skin open, i'm not sure about sucking venom from a snake bite, i haven't got the energy to take his pain to inside myself & doubt if he would let me have it anyway, there is so much pain to give, so much to go around, i do not want to share his pain to any greater extent than i already am, he gave me the sulks so i responded, he gave me the shits so i put the kettle on, made myself a cup of tea & suffered briefly, he meanwhile was brooding away, he gave me the silent treatment, so i gave him a facial, with no feelings inside me, before sending him on his way |
