The cold sun
Is a paradox.
I said, do not judge yourself for emanating brightly,
Or that the night of your past has cooled your flame.
They have been blowing on your fire for years.
The silent breath on each small candle of your birthday cake.
When your parents stopped, you invited others in to do the same.
There are a few things one needs to know about the cold sun.
It consumes, it is beautiful,
It is a paradox of looking bright & warm but its centre is cool.
There are some people who are hard & brittle on the outside,
& once smashed open, they are all softness, weak & pulpy underneath,
Terrified of cracks in the fabric,
As underneath it all hides.
A real softie,
Soft-hearted,
A soft snap or has a soft side.
The cold sun is the opposite to that.
Like your long long arms reaching out,
To take the world of lonely hearts in, to warm them
Beneath your sunflower flamy skirts, if only you could.
Your intentions are good.
But you fan them with cooler air than they had expected & they
begin to shiver.
Not understanding how one that looks so warm can be so breezy.
The cold sun
Is like one of those summery days in the dead of winter.
I said, do not judge yourself as cold when you are emanating brightly.
It is a matter of warming yourself up from somewhere inside,
Turning your precious midnight fuel inwards to start at the beginning.
Let your flames lick around that cold little rock,
Focus inwards & warm your own heart,
Shine largely, emanate out,
Do not judge yourself when you do not feel.
You may feel another day or for someone else.
You are not permanently damaged.
It's a matter of turning off & switching on,
Rather than this dull & fierce bright emanation.
Cold sun,
Of the winter cemetery,
You & I are such beautiful cold suns.
We give out the signals of warmth & they fly into the light of us,
& each time they crash, & cinder up, we go a little duller.
We attract strange wings into our power.
But mostly we simply insist on a huge space,
Brightly flaring, empty flames, empty arms, empty years.
Because we emanate,
You will all reach out to touch us,
Putting your bone thin hands & lost hearts into a sunlit stream
Coming down from the mountains, where you expect the sun has
Warmed the crystal clear water, just to feel your fingers icing up.
