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REPRESSION
Red, black and white
Repressed emotion
Loss of family and friends
People you hoped would understand more.
But their only people.
They have problems, feelings ... too.
No more hurt.
Quarenteened.
Happier in isolation
You don't need those
Who fail to understand.
They only damage your being.
Tug at your spirit.
Pulling it backwards
Cling to your soul.
Like a toadstool clings to death.
Unconsciously absorbing your happiness.
A threat to your psychological health.
Heartworm.
Retreat unto your own society.
Remain self-absorbed.
Build up your resistance.
Gain strength.
Weak, lost, weary, ... afraid.
Unable to avoid the dark grip of insanity entirely.
Hanging onto a thin thread of hope.
Walking the tightrope of happiness.
Then for you to intrude.
Upsetting my fragile balance.
Yes ... you watched the circus.
Tickets collected, you paid the price.
You felt my stinging whip of hate.
That I cannot live as a normal human being.
A ringmasters whip of woe.
To run the show ... to be in control.
'Ladies and Gentlemen ...'
I hoped you liked the show.
But you weren't meant to.
I watched the tigers
Trapped in their cages
Watching my world with bitter faces.
I threw them some popcorn.
But they spat it out.
They wanted flesh ... but nothing holds me.
The popcorn was thrown,
By someone whose not me.
Because I do value relationships.
But their engaged.
No contact ... nobody home?
I hang up the receiver abruptly.
I shan't remain lost.
In wistful soul searching fragility.
A loner is created, not born.
A permed hair cannot stand up straight.
It needs others to keep it from falling.
A solution ...?
Safety in numbers?
But I have no curling wand,
To hold me in place...
They left me to drown once before.
The 'sea of despair' is inviting
But I'm swimming towards it,
I'd prefer to stand on the rocks.
They stop me from sinking.
I had hoped you could throw me a life jacket.
But its impossible.
I can't reach it, ... I'm in too deep.
But I see the lighthouse.
I shall be washed up onto the rocks ... |
