dad taught us three kids to swim underwater/
because he & his dog branto used to swim like it
in the darling river at brewarrina/ i had to repeat
swimming lessons at liverpool baths twice/ in
order to learn how to swim along the black line
because i kept sinking down/ wanting the blue
fluorescence of the big pool surrounding me/ on
the surface it was boisterous & shallow/ down
there it was numb & deep/ bubbles of carbon dioxide
& the vague image of blurred bodies for company/
dad never like the baths/ he preferred the rivers/ the
black depth/ he took us to swim at george's river
during storms with the wild brown fish/ when the
lightning struck lighting up the wide meanders/ i was
frightened of logs & snags but i swam there to be
with him/ once after work dad got drunk & went
to the liverpool rotary park goldfish hunting with
gilbert & dick/ wading through the slimy water
with his pants & shirt sleeves rolled up/ he brought
mum back a brown carp & put it in her fish tank
in the loungeroom/ as a result the whole tank became
diseased & many of the fish died/ like they had on
boxing day after a sweltering christmas/ when mum
decided to clean it out/ the rubber hose draining
it/ emptying all the green water & pebbles across
the front verandah into the cactus garden/ i picked
out the tiny black snails & put them in the plastic
buckets with the fish/ but it was too hot & the
shock of cold tap water captivity pushed the fish
into death/ mum crying as she flushed the tiny
slippery bodies down the toilet/ during the night
i heard the plop of water & thud as goldfish leapt
out & hit the carpet/ they tried to escape after
dark so mum had to cover the top with thin
sheets of glass/ during the day the fish groped
around pacing the weedy water of the tank/ their
eyes were always wide & popping out/ it was as
though they could never get enough food or
oxygen/ as though they wanted to grow bigger/
as big as george's river/ but the fishtank stopped
them/ made them float to the top as they wiggled
their fantails towards the bottom/ the fluorescent
light bringing up their colours as they swam/ so
that i could see right through them
