fabian debella who we called 'debellabutton' had
picked his nose & wiped it on his leg/ i said to
him 'hey, see that wog you picked out of your
nose, well you're a wog'/ he came towards me
his face screwed up & grabbed my hair/ i tried to
get a grip on him but he dragged me to the ground
using my hair like one would use a rope/ & with
his other hand he punched me/ i made sure i never
fell down & got a few in/ i was worried but tried
not to show it/ pretty soon a group of other kids
had gathered around & i could hear them chanting
'go coral go coral go coral go'/ it didn't help/ i
hadn't expected him to start laying into me/ i just
wanted to spar verbally/ a new teacher called mr
mooniappin raced over & dragged him off me/
but fabian was stocky & he could barely hold him
back/ he kept trying to break free to start in on me
again/ i kept my mouth shut/ i thought i'm going
to get my head kicked in/ 'she called me a wog'
he said & the teacher gave me the dirtiest look as
though i was the scum of the earth/ i was used to
being given this look/ the 'you are a troublemaker
from a bad background that will never amount to
anything' look/ i wiped the blood away from my
nose & didn't say anything/ he was the blackest
man i had ever seen with the whitest eyeballs/ i
was frightened of him/ i said 'but he is a wog'/
he said 'shut up you're in enough trouble as it is'/
both of us were sent to the principal mr butler's
office/ my girlfriends waited outside but no one
waited for fabian debella/ the principal asked us
what happened but before we could answer he
turned to fabian & said 'did you do this to her?'/
he said 'yes'/ & we looked across at each other
to see who would shed the first tear/ but i wouldn't
budge/ fabian broke down & cried & i was sent
outside/ i said to my girlfriends 'he cried'/ they
were ecstatic/ although i was the one with the
bruises & the blood i had not cried/ i was the
winner of the fight/ fabian got into trouble for
hitting girls/ i would have hit him more if i was
stronger but i just wasn't strong or fast enough
for him/ later that night i put on the seventies
floral frock for the first school dance/ i was
overweight with a black eye & full of self hate/
mum took a photo of me by the fish tank/ but i
felt sulky like the time i ran away from my eighth
birthday & hid crying in the vandalised telephone
box down the road/ i was the spoiler of special
occasions/ the person that spoiled nanny's 56th
birthday in wollongong/ she said she would never
forget that i spoiled her day/ the school dance was
similar/ but i had to have a bit of front for the
rest of the night & fabian might be there so i
knuckled down & toughened up/ i felt sore as i
dressed & was suprised to see bruises to my
chest & stomach/ my nose had gone down but
my eye was black/ i thought he really made the
most of it/ but was more worried about being fat/
the school dance was a weird event/ we had been
forced to turn up with male partners selected for
us during dance practice/ i would not touch jim
rozarkis, sarantos karos, joseph pappalao & enzo
vozzo & certain people wouldn't touch me/ so
we all danced with our bodies & hands connected
to mid air on the painted yellow line/ our faces
screwed up & no one touching/ the boys were
told to bring the girls flowers & chocolates &
there was an uproar/ no one had any money/ we
all hated each other & no one wanted to bring
anyone anything/ my prearranged partner was
daniel field the mischievous redhead/ he turned
up outside the dance with a few dandelions 'wet
the beds' picked on the way & a cadbury soft
centred peppermint bar/ he looked me up &
down/ me in my white elasticised floral frock
with pink & purple flowers/ my hair clipped
back, denim platform shoes & pot belly showing
through the material/ he threw the flowers & the
chocolate at me & ran off screaming/ i picked the
broken bar out of the long paspalum grass which
had stuck in my socks & didn't bother with the
flowers/ i hoped he would wet the bed/ i knew
that ultimately he would come to no good/ being
a redhead/ i said 'go back to your mother you red
headed bugger you don't belong to me'/ debbie's
partner ivan vastag turned up in a suit & she
was given a box of black cat chocolates & a few
roses from his front garden/ both items wrapped
in purple tissue paper/ but overall the dance felt
sleazy & so did i dancing with my black eye,
sore nose & bruises beneath the dress/ i mainly
remember dancing with the male teachers/ i didn't
like them touching me/ their big hands on my back
