BULLSHIT BAFFLES BRAINS
u.f.o.s are all bullshit/ i waited up all night
for the ghosts & u.f.o.s & yetis/ but none of 'em
would come & talk ter me/ i might stand a chance
if i was dryin' out from the grog/ in the horrors
or full of l.s.d./ they're not liars/ they've just
got bad memories/ u.f.o.s are all bullshit/ &
bullshit baffles brains/
& the bloke that told me/
that a u.f.o. swooped down from a box tree/ & missed
'im by a cigarette paper/ is the same one that said:
i'll have ter cut down on me food spendin'/ it's
breakin' inter me drinkin' money/ 'is wife turned the
tap orf on 'im/ & wouldn't give 'im a cracker/ so 'e
cleared orf & left 'er/ been as silly as a cut snake
since/
u.f.o.s are all bullshit/ like that mad bloke
ray from moree/ who reckons yetis come outa the
bush/ on ter the gilgandra road/ & tip all the
windmills over/ 'e also said: i like daylight savin'/
'cause yar get ter start drinkin' an hour earlier/
they're all no-hopers & do-drop-in-pleases/ so i've
told 'em ter roll their swags/ bloody head-shakers &
shirt-lifters/ tellin' me about bunyips & secret
fishin' holes/
every man & 'is dog knows about that
fishin' hole/ they tell everyone else ter keep it a
secret/ some people have the intelligence &
sensitivity of a monkey/ no offence ter the monkey/
i mean a dumb monkey/ not a normal one/ u.f.o.s are
bullshit/ & that type don't know shit from clay/ &
they'll never have any brains/ so long as their
arseholes point ter the ground | 
