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My last one-night stand got a shock when I put a condom on with my mouth. He almost came before I got it on. He obviously hasn't been with a working girl. Really it would do him well to be charged for it 'cause he's got more cash than sense, and he needs to understand a few things first. P-a-y for it, honey. Even though it would appear that we can't even give it away at the moment. Then, to top off a bad week, this other motherfucker kept asking what dress size I was. Oh, the woes of the singles scene! I said I was in between all those sizes, then started laughing and told him that he should get a job in a department store in the women's clothing section.' He was pretty ugly anyway, the type you have to chew your own arm off to get away from in the morning. Jackie said, 'I say if you can't walk down the street with 'em the next day then don't fuck 'em and it serves you right if you do. Before I came out I fucked a man once or twice for nothing. I looked down and saw that he was so fucken ugly that I had to chew. Too much whisky the night before. Now I was really fucking suffering for it. I had a terrific hangover but I had to chew with my mouth fucken shut so as not to wake him. I said, 'Your mother sucks cocks in Hell. I hope all your chooks turn into emus and kick the shithouse door down.' They were the best insults I could muster at fifteen years of age.'
Roxanne speaks: When the security guard dropped her off at the Plaza Hotel, she knew almost straight off that she was dealing with a slob. He was from Papua New Guinea and had big frizzy hair with pimples all over his chest, shoulders and back. Jackie checked his cock and sack and saw that it was clean. 'Okay, I'll fuck it,' she said. After the security guard was gone, she rang in to the parlour and said that she'd do the job but that she didn't like him. She said, I've had 'ugly' before, but this is a true test of my skills.' This creature was ugly through and through from outside in. When she arrived, the client stood behind the door. Jackie waved off the guard and stepped inside with her little silver dress on. 'For fuck's sake,' she said. There he was in all his naked glory, pulling off his tiny dick in front of a porno movie in the middle of the hotel loungeroom. He was as big as a Minotaur. 'Do you do anal?' he said.
Jackie looked around the room with a cool smile planted on her face. 'Suppose you offer me a drink first, sunshine.' He was a beast. She already knew that she'd have little hope of sophisticating him. 'If I offer you a hundred dollars can I come on your face? The other girls do it.' Jackie said 'No', and proceeded to give him a lecture on safe sex. Then to fill in some more time she said, 'I want to try and understand you. Why do you want to do that?' 'Because it's fun,' he said. 'Don't you think it's a bit humiliating for the woman?' 'No,' he said, 'it's fun.' 'Oh fun fun fun times huh!' She laughed. 'How about three hundred?' he said, opening up his wallet and fanning the money in front of her face, so that the dozens of green notes opened like the leaves of a cabbage palm. 'How about three thousand?' she said. He dropped the money, looking disgusted. Then he said, 'Can I at least come on your breasts for a hundred dollars? Otherwise I don't think I'm going to be able to come.' Jackie gently squashed down his testicles with the base of her foot. 'You can come on that for five hundred dollars.' She wanted him to pay in order to humiliate himself. He turned away disgusted and got her a ginger ale from the fridge. Apparently, the other girls who had let him come all over their faces, had also eaten the peanuts and drunk the Coke.
He tried on other stuff as well. It was the usual story. He requested unsafe oral sex for another hundred dollars. When she was finally fucking him he smacked her a couple of times on the rump. 'Do that again,' she said, 'and I'll hit you hard.' He stopped. He requested anal again and tried to insert his fingers. 'Don't go there,' she said. He wanted his dirty little nails up inside her cunt. The fucking arsehole had tried to scratch, either out of clumsiness or out of spite. He was like the married stockbroker who requested a woman with big tits during the line-up and who whinged that his wife wouldn't give him any and that her tits weren't big enough. 'For Christ's sake, Jackie, can't you show a man a bit of sympathy? It feels like I'm swallowing cherries, when I really want cupcakes!' So she wasn't perfect. Meanwhile he was bald, the lousy dope. Well, Jackie thought, if you didn't try to start her up like a fucking lawnmower every morning, perhaps you would get some yin. |
