4. i have no loyalty, having been through too much
i have no loyalty, having been through too much, i will simply go where i am treated the best, i follow the favourable weather, 'you have no loyalty,' he said, & did not like me for it, as he swiped me to the side, the back of his open hand cutting my cheek, slapping it broadly like a dinner plate, my cheek has swollen to the size of my grief & was beating with my fear, it is inflamed & has a sting to it, like a drowsy afternoon that is drugged & irritated by those sticky black flies, this was the first time he laid a hand on me, nevertheless our relationship became like one of those stifling summer days, the sheets all limp & us drugged upon them like those flies, hating each other, hating ourselves, as we stuck to the death of our relationship & onto those sticky sheets like fly paper, where it felt like our legs were broken & that we had starved to death, at this moment he chose to speak of loyalty, as the front door opened & a new person appeared, he spoke of loyalty as their arms opened, & it was like i had been hit in the face by sea spray, my world rocked like a dinghy, as i left that bed & walked giddily towards those arms, who cares if it was directly into the arms of someone else, for as i walked, it was as if into the arms of a parent or an angel, this is the new person that appears in my life to save me from a situation, it always happens like this, someone will wander in & off i go, & he who is the one from the past will be calling out from the sticky sheets of his loyalty, like they have done before him, would you blame me for leaving?, it is always the ones that try to kill me, that scream out their undying loyalty, like it is the distrustful who say 'trust me' & it is always the one who will make it fail, who says with a furrow between the eyes 'this relationship must work', so i am gone before you know it, you can tell your friends you miss me, sorry i couldn't stick it out, but then again i'm happy, i simply go where i am welcome, migrate to warmer climates, take flight on instinct |
