56. press my keys, it won't be long before you discover something of my ways
some of these domestic violence situations, where they scream at each other for years, or the households where they bash one another up all the time, where they throw & smash each other's possessions, well that's moronic & i can't handle that, i can't handle pestering & name calling, if i can't have a bit of peace, i will go crazy, i don't like confrontation, i prefer to leave the situation, i would prefer to let it build up inside me, i would prefer that all my boundaries are all considered by you, as i remain passive, as this compresses into a ball, to suddenly spring back out, i give sudden vent to emotion, sudden retaliation or sudden leaving, suddenly i am gone, there will be no indication of the slap in the face you are about to receive, no indication that soon, through your own idiot ways, i will be empty air resting on your forearms, you will not see me leave, as the door slams shut or gently closes, you are only the idiot who misses me horribly, or who has been caught by a blow, not fast enough to duck it, i have struck out, with no thought, into action without limit, our household was a pattern from my background, & just how did you contribute to it?, the occasional sudden hurricane movements of my father, the icy absence of my mother, this i what i am used to, this is how i have been programmed, the needle moves into position, play me like a recorder & observe my dysfunctional patterns, switch me on like a computer & tap tap tap, press my keys, it won't be long before you discover something of my ways |
