13. for the doctor who assaulted me, during an internal examination
i need to place my hands over my eyes, like someone who is defeated & cannot face the world, for the doctor who assaulted me, during an internal examination, i want to run you down with my car, when i see you crossing the street, but i can't even face you, firstly, i would have to try & ascertain the physical damage that had been done up there, my soft vagina turned up into the fluorescent light tightly confronting the world, i could imagine the second doctor, she would have to prise me apart & may be crushed in there, my cunt is not stupid & does not want any more intruders for awhile, so i didn't bother with the evidence, it's like not being able to shower after rape & handing your underpants in to the police, i just want to forget it, that doctor butchered me, treated me like a dead horse in a paddock, forgot that my body housed a soul, forgot that i only have one body to last me one journey, & that i am here just once, i can hardly tolerate to think about it, it was like she was a butcher gouging the meat & fat between my legs, so that when i got up something would be dislodged & this mince would fall into my underpants, i am in shock & cannot reach in & comfort myself properly, she just kept scraping & scraping, i said, 'take it easy', she inserted the instrument alright, shot it up in there like a gun, i'm normally untouchable, but shit, that bad doctor got me, something will happen to her, it's already happening to her, if it wasn't already happening, she wouldn't have assaulted me, i've been raped before & would prefer to be raped again by him, than have her anywhere near me, i'm just going to pretend it didn't happen, i know when i can cope & when i can't, just forget it, it didn't happen |
