She was determined to be happy. She had almost driven away. She had found a service station with a public bar. She had been drinking herself stupid for three hours. She loved him. Rohan in the bottom of the bottle. She needed him. He was different.
There was nobody like him in the city. There might never be another chance. He had been baking out there for a forever day. There had been cloud but no rain. When she finally returned, he was bone dry and still the same.
YOU'RE THE REASON FOR MY EXISTENCE, she said.
Had she mistaken him for someone else? Did he accept her for who she was? It seemed pointless to question - she loved him.
Girl: YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY HERE. YOU CAN GO. I JUST COULDN'T LIVE OUT HERE.
He moved like dirt and pebbles. She couldn't look him in the eye. Everything was too bright. Was he tired of her already? She moved towards him hopeful and hopeless. If he existed there was still a chance. Her journey across the land had taken on a different meaning. Everything was changing.
He made his way slowly towards the one-tree in the distance. She began to panic with the loss of him. She moved closer to the tree and the only thing she could see was his back against the bark. He might have been just a scarecrow for all she knew. But there were no crops, no other trees and she hadn't seen a bird for days.
Girl: YOU'VE BEEN IN THE DESERT TOO LONG. WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS? WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT SUIT?
Rohan had been threading the sleeves of the suit beneath the sun. During the daylight hours there was little else that could be done. At night it tore by itself as if secret claws had ripped at the material.
Girl: BUT IT'S SO HOT. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT OFF? THERE'S NO SHADE AROUND ASIDE THIS TREE AS FAR AS I CAN SEE.
She wobbled still drink silly. There was something about this place that made her giddy, unsure of herself, as though she were continually letting go. She tucked in her skirt and straightened her hair. She began to wonder where she was.
Girl: WHAT'S WRONG? WHY ARE YOU AFRAID? WHY WON'T YOU STAND IN THE SHADE?
The girl became suspicious like never before. Rohan shook his head where swept a breeze that closed all doors. He had given to himself, and what he had given, would come rushing back into him, with sharp claws and teeth.
If he knew too much he would tear his own heart out. Stop. He was as empty as echoes and must be stopped. Find himself by himself be himself from himself by himself. Stop. He was as empty as echoes and must be stopped.
The girl was silent. He seemed to have lost all direction. He avoided conversation. He'll rot here, she thought, as she backed away. He'll rot here and no-one will ever find him.
Girl: SO YOU LEFT THE CITY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY HERE.
IS THIS A DREAM OR IS THIS REAL? The voice was almost gone.
Girl: I THINK IT'S REAL. I CAN FEEL IT TOO. COME WITH ME.
She looked around for support but the land was grey and empty.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, she said softly. He left her in his own way, lowering himself back down to beneath the one-tree. His thoughts were thin on the wind and his body caste no shadow of its own. He left the place which was grey and empty.
I MUST BE CRAZY, she said.
The girl was beating down into the ground. Whether it was from the desert sun, his life, or her own flight, she didn't know. She didn't know much anymore. She was exhausted and uncertain. It was really too much. Everything felt like it was beginning and ending at once. She chose to preserve her sanity.
Girl: I'M SLEEPING IN THE CAR, IF YOU WANT ME.
The day was never ending. Rohan sat slumped between a few rocks in the dry dirt. The gut wrenching cry of a crow in the distance - the forever air - yellow sweat and sand in his hair. He lay face down to let whatever little breeze there was, pass over the skin of his back. She would never find him, without falling into him. And by now she never expected to anyway. She was so far away from the only tree in the wasted world. He lifted his head and listened for her voice, or even the quiet breath of her sleeping. The only sound was wind.
She said goodbye that same morning.
Rohan had been dreaming of the desert again. Strong and ancient dreams dispersing his being into earth with daylight. He could barely rouse himself to see her. Golden grains of sand stuck together the corners of his eyes. He was blinded by the dawn of drought. He had been out here forever. Perhaps he should have slept all day in the shade of a tree. At this temperature the sun or crows might take his eyes out.
She knelt beside the body and kissed him on the cheek. Her hair was wet where she had splashed some water on her forehead. Her face was red from where she had been crying. Her eyes were moist and crimson. He hugged her wetness onto his chest and smiled as she almost evaporated. CAREFUL, he said and the smile held his eyes barely apart in the heat.
She wanted to tell him that she was moist from crying and drying out. And that he shouldn't hold her so close and that she needed a drink, a break. She needed to communicate, if he could let go somehow. But Rohan was in his wasted world and couldn't hear her, would never be near her. She was dry when she left the desert, her water bottle empty and drained. He never saw her again.
