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A Small Gift
I realised that the weight of all those rescued animals, had never been as heavy as that of the diamond. They had been so light that I could run with many animals on my back, and all the world would be lifting me up, in order that I could carry some of them to safety. I could never have worked without the world working through me. Later that afternoon I visited Ingrid at The Lost And Found Home. I saw her slumped over a coffee, her wolverine eyes and all the intensity and struggle about her that made her beautiful to people. So that she had often utilised this beauty in order to have people look after her and her precious animal shelter. Apart from what other people saw in it, and what they might give to animals from knowing it, her beauty was unimportant to her. Today was a restful day. The animals in the shelter were quieter as if they were also at rest. Ingrid was often too hard on herself. She sat hugging her pain to her breast like it was a child. Yet she also was powerful and commanding, so that the whole shelter was simply an extension of her psyche. I sat down as the kettle blew its steam from its proud stainless steel. I gave her the ring so that she could buy more bedding for the dogs and cats this winter. I gave her shoulder a little rub. I also left her a nice green coat, a hot water bottle and knee rug for days at the big brown desk. I knew that she would put the diamond's crystal heart to good work, like she had put her own beauty to work. She had put her own soul into those dogs and cats. I knew that she would not once consider herself, but that at least she would wear the green coat. I wondered how long she would last and always hoped she would last. Why couldn't all the ugly useless people in the world, the ones that had nothing at all to offer, give their lives to Ingrid? Just so that she could live five hundred years. If they could only donate their lives and their organs, so that Ingrid could continue to do her good work. I knew that when she died, I wouldn't feel like eating if she couldn't eat. I knew that the world that cracked my fabric would one day cause me to leave it. I wanted us to leave it with courage and not heartbroken. I wanted to say, 'I did my best and now I leave the world in love.' I wanted to trust that there would be others to continue the work, just as I had continued it from others. As we worked we were also teachers and unlikely leaders, not with the weight of the world on our shoulders but hugging the globe to us like infants. I gave her weariness a hug from behind and left her there. She had a little cry over the diamond ring saying, 'This is a dream come true for them.' She pointed out into the small yard of makeshift housing, containing the mean little faces of distrust, created by abandonment and abuse. At least today the distressed hearts were now at rest, on this day of perfect rest. 'We do what we can.' I said goodbye to Ingrid and The Lost And Found Home. It would be a long time until I saw her again. |
