i was frightened of the spitfire grubs that used to
fall off the trees into the pool/ they terrified us all/
i didn't like the spikes & the bright primary
colours/ or the rough red head who occasionally
visited from over the back neighbours/ he was
always looking up girl's dresses/ he was a little
bit older/ i didn't like him/ when chris & julie
visited chris always had bruises on his back &
the backs of his legs up to his bottom/ none of
us knew where the bruises had come from/ chris
had a hard time at home/ he never went inside to
go to the toilet/ he wanted to piss in the pool/ we
knew when he was going to do it because he
suddenly stood still with a silly expression on
his face/ we convinced him not to/ so he pissed
down the backyard behind the bird aviary/ we
never told mum he was doing it/ but she saw the
stains on the fibro/ once i kicked dale in the pants
& mum rushed in & had a serious talk/ 'you must
never kick him there again'/ i showed her where
he'd scratched me & pulled my hair but she didn't
care/ she said 'don't kick him anywhere near there
again or you could do permanent damage'/ i was
worried about this/ finally gilbert had to stop
playing with me because 'he was getting too old
for us to be playing together'/ so we had to wave
at each other from across the street but not talk/
we had done the 'you show me yours & i'll show
you mine' thing years before/ gilbert had pulled
his penis out & i had pulled my swimmers down
& then back up very fast/ gilbert was startled
saying 'you showed me the whole thing & i only
showed you half of mine/ i'm dobbing'/ i said 'i
don't give a rat's arse/ i've seen all i want to see'/
gilbert's penis appeared again during my early
adolescence/ lolling out on the hot car seat when
my father was driving/ i tried to make dale or
brendon look at it without laughing/ it looked
shrivelled & scaly the little curly hairs sticking
with sweat/ i tried to sit in the front & wished
that he would wear underpants/ then he used to
stand around his side trellis pulling himself off/
he always did it in the afternoon when we played
frontyard cricket/ he must have known we could
see him/ he wasn't the same person i had known/
i told the other kids/ we always yelled out 'have
a go yer mug' when we played cricket so now
when gilbert came out we yelled 'have a pull
yer mug' pretending it was part of the game/ he
disappeared but didn't stop doing it/ i tried to walk
the dogs in the morning when he wasn't around