after the armed hold up i got life/ if i don't do
what he wants he punishes me in emotional
ways or threatens the relationship/ on a few
occasions he has been drunk & violent/ talking
about the underworld, the police force & of
killing people/ he lit up a cigarette & said
'human life is expendable'/ he threatens to
hurt me when i have contact with other people/
everyone who knows him tells me to leave him/
they become frustrated when i tolerate his
abuse/ i think i've lost all my friends/ they're
tired of the both of us/ he brags about his
criminal activities & his sex life as if they
were one of the same/ he has been hanging
around strip clubs again/ peeping through
a hole at the station/ whilst prostitutes were
being strip searched after being taken in/ it's
a dirty little habit/ he has hit me in the back
of the head knocking my neck out/ he has
threatened to kill me with a knife/ has often
smashed small things/ this has been gradually
wearing away at my self esteem/ really i don't
understand him/ he is unpleasant a lot of the
time/ he is untidy around the house & neglects
his physical appearance/ he is a chain smoker/
blowing smoke in my face/ he says 'it takes me
all my willpower not to'/ he is a nasty piece of
work & very difficult/ i wish i could find a way
out/ i feel foolish for staying with him knowing
what i have just told you/ i feel emotionally
entangled & dependent/ it's embarrassing/ i
think i'll die without him/ everyone has their
eyes open except for the person that needs to
learn the lesson/ the person who thinks 'i'm in
love'/ yet every hour i feel the sun moving up
the driveway to my stockings/ it's the daylight
i have forgotten since being in the lock-up/
every hour i creep back into my own life/ into
my trouser legs/ onto my own two feet/ the
muscle tone lost along with common sense/
every hour i fall back into my mouth/ to hear
my own song/ as if i had forgotten the words/
as if my mouth had been gently closed by his/
the sunlight falls through the barred window
onto the back of my palm/ the first indication
of my great escape/ i have recognised the day
light outside & have a desire to return to it
