PORNOGRAPHY
i watched pornographic movies with my brothers, my
father & his mates when i was thirteen/ we sat in
dad's caravan drinking rum/ my father half silly
with drink/ talking over the top of everyone &
repeating himself/ his mates said: these movies
are all the same/ but they still kept on watching
them/ when it got too much with chook pens, beating
drums & blood i turned my eye downwards/ & focused
on the fridge on which the tv sat/ dad went out
& bought some icecreams/ i ordered a cornetto & the
others ordered pies & chips/ pretty soon i was
eating my icecream which had melted on my fingers
& around my mouth/ & i noticed the men's attention
shifting/ the movie was still running but they were
not focused on it/ i half stood & leaned over my
brother trying to unwind a window/ & some of the
cornetto dribbled down my singlet between my breasts/
one of them asked: was i enjoying the icecream?/ &
i replied: yes/ my mouth turned downwards/ my gaze
as smooth & white as the fridge on which the tv
sat/
pornography wants to be hot but pornography is
autumnal/ when i slip into a summer negligee i am
bitter, frost bitten/ when i am cupping the fluffed
up birds of spring/ i can hear that dark branch
whispering/ twisting me into shape/ my girlfriends
are flirting by the school gate/ are dressing up
cute for awkward dates/ are receiving carnations,
bracelets & cadbury's chocolates/ are drawing hearts
& his & her initials on steamed up tiles & bathroom
mirrors/ are rubbing light suncream & oils into
the shoulders of lovers/ now come back to winter
spreadeagled woman/ kneel down low on the wet dark
earth/ give us a blowjob & choke on the sprog/ &
here/ a nice sharp knife in the gash & now you like
that don't you?/ like it good & hard in the shape of
rape/ of earth root taking dark root in the overcast
psyche/ now see how i tremble as you come close to
me/ this touch, this shadowy intimacy will be the
death of me/ now i make love like a slut in the grip
of a dangerous society/ which is all wound up, turned
on & predatory/ too late in bringing flowers to my
cemetery |
