there are weeks & months waiting lists/ a shrug of
the sympathetic shoulders/ & i am sorry there is
nothing in this area/ what exactly is the problem?/
well/ a history of drug abuse/ domestic violence,
nervous breakdowns, suicidal tendencies/ schizophrenia,
rape & bulemia/ any more?/ no/ not at the moment/
i am sorry/ there is nothing in this area/ but if
you had $130 an hour/ perhaps we could find you
something/ & remember that we care/ this is a
recording/
i am angry/ & they say: don't despair/
i say: i am despairing/ i am very despairing/ no
wonder so many young women kill themselves out here/
i think i will end up in a western suburbs garbage
bin/ both wrists slit & a bottle of tablets down my
throat & two blue stocking legs sticking out/
i think perhaps the death of unemployed women/ solves
the population problem/ liverpool is overpopulated/
& it's a matter of who can get to me/ society or
myself/ i think it would be kinder/ to end at my own
hands/ i wouldn't be raped first/
& the woman on the
phone at the women's health centre says: we can't
help you at the moment/ we are being held hostage
by a gunman/ but if you want to ring back later/ &
have a talk or a good cry/ then we're always here/
my name is grace/ well/ amazing grace/ i watch the
police surrounding the building on the tv/ i am
crying into the phone receiver/ can't you hear me?/
if i cry much more i will swallow my tears/ & you
won't understand what i'm trying to say/ what i am
trying to say is poverty/ distress & poverty/ i'm
all hung up/ don't hang up on me/
i have spoken to
a young yuppie social worker/ at a community health
centre/ & he was hiding behind his folder/ shocked
at what i had to say/
at the end of the session he
asked: do you masturbate?/ then this other idiot at
carramar clinic said: would you be angry if i was
attracted to your red lipstick?/
no thank you: i say
to my doctor wendy/ no more male counsellors talking
to me/ she says: i understand/ there have been many
complaints by women/
being molested by counsellors/
after talking to them about being molested/ i say:
they must be giving them ideas/
& there is no one to
talk to until next year/ but if you had $130 an hour
perhaps we could find you something/
i put down the
phone or leave the surgery/ another number on a
waiting list/ knowing a woman's health centre is
within/ & western suburbs women are stronger/ than
they have ever been
