AFTERNOON TEA WITH MUM
we almost died didn't we?/
4.30 p.m. afternoon tea/
melbourne is grey/ i look out/ from a terrace house/
have not been out/ for twenty-six hours/ got no
money 'til pension day/
afternoon tea/ with my mother/
goes like this/ we almost died didn't we?/ yes/ but
you dwell in the past/ too much/
i never wanted to
birth/ mother/ i spend all my day/ trying to get
back/ to how it was/ & will not leave the house/
until pension day/
mother says: you are wasting your
life/ shut up in here/ go for a walk/ to the park/
& get some sun/
but my skin/ it hurts/ i never
wanted to birth/ & the outside light makes me dizzy/
happy birthday/ to poverty/
would you like a cup of
tea: mum/ i do not like the sun: light/ i like it
inside the terrace house/ i like melbourne/
& do not
want to leave your womb/ but you are dying with me
inside/
i wait for the cheque/ fourteen days
overdue/
a late ripe fruit/ reluctant to drop/ to
its death & the winter/ chilling the seed/ & killing
it/ until it splits & grows/ let me stay inside/
we
are clutching the sheets/ together: we are pleading/
for a natural birth/ but would naturally: die first/
i do not want to birth/ mother/ i'm afraid we have
lost: consciousness/
we have been given the gas/ an
epidural in the back/ a spine chilling mess/
do not
push me out/ my arm is breaking/
here i come/ bum
first & bleeding/ into an injured world/ from an
injured womb/
upside down/ falling from branches/ i
hit the muddy ground/ it splashes up/ air punctures
my lungs/ frozen like razors/ a new seed cracks/ i
scream for you/ before my breath/
from inside/ the
humidicrib/ i do not like being: outside/
this is
my birth/ you recover from the gas/ we almost died
didn't we?/
yes/ but you dwell in the past/ too much/
i am tired/ & will stay in the house/ until pension
day/ besides i am broke/
mum takes an early flight/
back to sydney/
& the only thing/ that makes me go
out/ for a walk in the park/ into autumn darkness/
is when my nan rings up long distance & says:
i've
loved you from the day you were born/ with your
little twisted arm | 
